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SKETCHOFLOVE@Tumblr
Hello, I'm Huien. Member of It's F, Bitch, with the title of Lucky Cute Bitch. |
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Layout: Lipstick Lullabies XIII. comments
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4Flipflop EDS Angela Apollonia Bryan Deborah Hitoshi Jasmine RuiXin Serena SuMei Yeling YokeMing archives
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Codes: dc/tdn |
But you made me believe.
I'm sorry people, I might just be gone for a while.All the stress is seriously taking me on the toll. I can't believe it, I don't like the way I'm behaving, I can't help it lah. I kept crying today. I cried during maths. I cried in the canteen after dance. I cried after taking my IC picture. I'm crying now. Crying is not a weakness, it's just that I've got to be strong during this period of time and I can't allow myself to shed tears. I'm super afraid of a lot of stuff. I'm sorry mum, for behaving so ungrateful, even though you took the time to bring to take my IC photo, and helped me call ICA up for an extension in the making of my IC. I know I sound like I'm really pissed and everything. Yea, I don't like my IC photo. I don't like the fact that you want me to look all 'neat' in your definition, having my fringe all pinned up. And seriously, I look damn shitty with my fringe all up. In Korea, you scolded me for not pushing up my fringe when we took photos in the traditional Korean costumes. You had to scold me in front of everyone yea? And Maijong told you,"Not everyone looks good with all their fringe up." And then you could keep quiet. I've told you, I look all shitty when my fringe is up, you don't believe. Now my IC picture look like one that's used for a funeral. Thanks anyway, for bringing to take the picture anyway. I think we should go somewhere else to take another picture, though I know it's not the time to waste money now. I'm fine with being in SSS, at least I'm doing serious homework and I'm not wasting my time. I hope it'll help improve my studies. I need to pass this year. I need to pull up my grades. All the tests. Miss Low talked to me about whether I understood Polynomials and Partial Fractions. No I don't understand the whole chapter at all. Then after that I felt really worried, and I just started crying though nobody saw. I look at the monkey Daddy bought for us at the Singapore Flyer building, for the first time, I hugged it so tightly and then I started crying so badly again. My hair is my mask, covering up my hideous wet face. Bro wonders why I'm not online, thinking I'm being a good girl, no, I just hugged my bolster and stuffed my whole face into it, I can't stop crying. I don't want to end up with puffy eyes tomorrow. Shall just stay up late tonight to study for test tomorrow. Huiying, I really want to be able to pray just like you, I want everything to turn out fine. But it's hard. I don't believe in such stuff. And I'm really worried. For once, I've never knew how much I could love someone. All this while, I've been taking everything for granted, I know that my feelings are true. I'm really crying not because I'm afraid of losing what I have but rather I'm afraid that if I don't start to treasure what I have now, I might not get the chance to in the future. Why can't my brother just realise that? I feel like asking Mum so much on what's happening. Doubt she'll tell me. It's hard to be strong and I guess I don't mind being weak for once. I should sit down and start praying from tonight, sincerely like a little kid. |
