SketchOfLove.

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I'm not writing, for you to criticise my actions/words.

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Opened since: 01 August 2007.
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4Flipflop EDS Angela Apollonia Bryan Deborah Hitoshi Jasmine RuiXin Serena SuMei Yeling YokeMing

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Edit: Yours Truly/sketchoflove♥
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I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart.

Sorry dancers, for the sudden breakout, like yea.

Somehow, there are many things going through my mind, moving really quickly in my head like bullet trains, and so many things have happened this year, and it seems as if I don't react quickly to them.

Since the start of year, many (rather saddening) stuff have been happening. From 23 January, it was the day whereby I learnt to live a life of my own once again. Being all independent, and I got stronger. I didn't cry that easily anymore. And it was when, I started to keep my feelings all to myself. There would be times whereby, I would just be silent the whole day.

Then things started to unfold slowly. This year has been a really stressful year, especially during this period of time, whereby I'm supposed to be the strongest?

I'm starting to break down both physically and mentally. I'm going to be insane soon. Like real soon.

Thanks so much dudes, you all totally helped so much man. Like totally.

Things happening in the family, then studies, then social circle of friends. How I wish things could go back to Primary school times. I missed all the fun I had. My maths was like 80+ coming 90? (Like everyone could do it and stuff) and I just loved all the teachers? Miss Chia, Mrs Chen, Mrs Lim, all of them were so fun-loving. We could just play April Fools' jokes on them. And then there was this whole mixing me and Xinyuan up thing. Qiya and I were best friends.

Then I had Dengue Fever, and missed school for 2 whole weeks, when PSLE was like coming soon. And when I returned to school, I fall into a whole mental depression thing due to some friendship stuff.

But primary school is just so innocent? It's so funny when I think about how long Xinyuan and my friendship has been. We were classmates since Primary 2? But we weren't exactly friends until we were in P5? For practically no reason, we just disliked each other, and in P5, we were so close. Iris, her and I had this really cool book thing, whereby we created our own story and could make up the weirdest and craziest things ever.

Primary school is just so cool (Though I hated the way I behaved, how childish). And to think, I kept thinking,"When can I go to secondary school? It seems so fun!" when actually, it's just a stupid nightmare in disguise.

And I think about whether I should go with clan and others to sing after Teachers' Day celebration this Friday. Should I? I'm starting to have a cough. But I wanna go and have fun. But I really wanna go back to PeiChun too.

I still remember last year, the pact Xinyuan, Sharlene, Amelia, Jovina and I (Did I miss out anyone?), we were chatting happily in MOS for like hours and we promised to do the same thing again this year? It was so fun, complaining about our own school, talking about stuff going on, knowing secrets in other top schools.

I really do miss 6A people. But like what Jiasheng mentioned on the class blog,"I must say, 6A isn't my top priority. And the sad truth would probably be that it will never be."

From Class Blog

Hi guys.
And gals.
And if there are any, gays and les.
Haha. Okay lame. But just as a precaution. Lest the Gay Rights Society or something sues me.
But anyway, I've been very very curious about what's happening on this blog recently. Although my conscience forces me to admit that I hardly come to this blogspot anymore, certain members of the class had reminded me that some issues have happened and thus needs a judge, jury and executioner here.
Therefore, my presence.
I know, I know, it's a little late, but I think what's right is that we fix it.
Firstly, certain individuals seems to be disrupting our little absent harmony here. Well, I can't exactly say we're very bonded right now, with more than a year behind. But reasonably speaking, do things have to be that extreme?
I don't know if this person was indeed from our class, or what are his/her intentions. And I'm not going to honour him/her by investigating. It's beneath all of us.
I just think that, why do everyone blow up the things that are insignificant, and fail to recall the things that truly matter?
Like, enjoying each other's company even when we make new friends?
Like, laughing together and working together for gatherings and camps?
Like, knowing it's not hard to let go, but we still hold on dearly?
I must say 6a isn't my top priority. And the sad truth would probably be that it will never be.
And strangely enough, I hope the same for all of you. Because we all have dreams to pursue, and places to explore. It doesn't mean that we have to forget the past. Instead, the past is what makes the present more precious. And it makes us look forward to the future.
Holding a ship too tightly to the dock will only make it rusty. So dare to brave the storms and go out to sea. Breathe the sea breeze. Live life.
And when you miss the dock, it will always welcome you back.
***
On a more lectural (no such word, I know) note, do not swear back when other people do. Because it just serves to lower yourself to his/her/it's level.
***
Just to do a survey, who wants a class gathering? I don't want to beg my mum for her credit card and end up staying in a chalet myself.
It's tentatively during the Dec hols. If there more than 15 replies, I will consider planning it. So if you want it, please drop me an email at jiasheng.hwachong@gmail.com. And do inform the other people. Oh if you guys plan to invite Sheryl and Nicholas, no objections from me.
Erm so decide. I'll give till July... And I'll inform you guys then.
Till then, tata.

Jiasheng is amazing. He ends with 'tata'. Cute nevertheless.

I really shouldn't like bottle up my feelings that much anymore, well, but I won't like exactly bare it all out here. I just want to release all that stress in me, through this (not so) short post and yea, with not vulgarities, and try to be cool about everything.

In this whole new year, there were many challenges to due with. Like teacher forever catching attire (I must say I improved ok. I haven't get caught for my earholes yet. And I tuck in like quite a bit of my shirt, so it's like no tails at the back, just that I've been caught like many times for my canvas shoes), teachers that aren't friendly, teachers' that can't teach. Then when it came to Semester 2, I am in this whole SSS thing. (If only it meant Singapore Sports School.) Sumei asked me if I felt bad and stuff, and I just shook my head and smile.

Actually, I don't really know whether I feel left out and stuff. Maybe it's a mixture of feelings. Like, yes, I do feel left out and stuff, it's unavoidable, especially when it's like, there's this additional stress because I'm supposed to be like doing something extra for EDS, but then how can anyone be so dumb and stuff. And everyone's like dancing, or doing pushups or jazz situps, and other routines, and I just arrive, throw my bag down and rush to the toilet to change. And you just like silently stand at the back and stuff. But one thing for sure is that, during SSS, I do like practise maths. So I actually like spend 2 hours of quality time doing some self-revision and so on.

I've just got a really bad fear of not being able to pass this year? Especially when my supposedly best subject, is just about to be screwed, thanks to some suck cock shit LA film. Seriously, I'm going bonkers. I'm starting to lose my marbles. You then start to regret, why didn't I start earlier, then I won't be in this fix now. I also wish to start earlier but sadly, most of the discussion sessions just turn out unproductive.

2008 has passed so quickly. And I'm still living in this whole stupid damned dream. I really want to find someone, to talk to, pour out our my deepest sorrows, and just cry like mad, use up boxes of tissues, ignore anyone who stares at me and stuff. But it's quite hard.

Especially when the only person that I can really pour all my feelings out to, and he understands me the best, can't really be there for me, since he's like so busy with his personal and school life. I've just got to cope with my own life well.

And maybe I shouldn't start to feel horrible right now. The more I think, the more I want to cry, then the more I prevent myself from crying, and I end up flaring my nostrils. And it feels frigging uncomfortable.

So should I go back to PCPS? Or go sing KTV? How I wish I could split into 2 and just go for both. But I seriously have got no money. Broke. Like totally. Heart shattered, wallet's empty.

When the going gets tough, the tough does not necessarily get going.

My quotes are starting to be pessimistic.

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